pictures

got pix up at MSN Space. Go check em out. (link)

college radio online

hey all. my school doesnt have a real radio station but they do have an online one. genres span indie, world, altrock, metal, industrial, and more. best part is u can stream any previously broadcast show. its like having another hard drive of mp3s. (link).

kmfdm* - control

... Another decade gone terribly wrong
Effectively afflicting generations to come
We only buy into what we can sell
We only want to protect you from yourself

Falling on your face from the media hype
We're busy creating a new stereotype
Amending the story to keep it intact
And make sure that vision accomodates fact

Do you know who owns and controls the station you're watching?
Does the truth you know rely on something?
Does it matter? ...

politicking

You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.

You are a Social Liberal (65% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (20% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

kmfdm concert

does it seem like you have the most fun when its unplanned? when things seem to spiral out of your control but you realize this is what makes you the most happy? i did not expect that the show would go how it did ... and i'm grateful.

originally, thad and i discussed attending the show. i know he and i are the most vocally devout about KMFDM amongst our friends and he was gonna burn me a buncha music, so he was the logical one to take with me. this would be great, right? see our fave(?) band and have a blast!!

well that didnt happen. he had something to do early in the morning and for some reason, he valued getting a good nights sleep over seeing the show. this logic completely baffled me and still does. but ok. another friend, paul, wanted to go but turned out to be unavailable. he hadn't seen them before and i figured that it would be a good opportunity. pleased to finally bring this ambivalent ticket ownership issue to closure, i spoke with nick and he was eager and ready! away we went to seattle. phew!

we got there at 7:30PM. doors scheduled to open at 8:00PM. we ended up staying there for an hour, waiting in line outside the club on a sidewalk adjacent to the pier (i.e. near the waters). however we chatted with some different people, a youngish man and woman and a mom/son looking pair as well. im not sure but i may not have been as open if i hadnt been with nick there. started to sweat when i realized i hadnt brought the confirm number ... but all was well when they simply accepted my credit card and id. once in we realized it was probably 2-3 hours till KMFDM started (there were 3 or 4 opening acts scheduled).

making a beeline for the bar, i got MY FIRST GUINESS EVER and nick got his first rum+coke of the night. we sat down with the man and woman from the line ... and got to known them a little better!! Ian and Chris(tina), they lived in Tacoma and Carnation respectively. they werent an item as i had assumed. both in their mid 30s, they seemed to have a lot more experience than i did (in all respects ... sexually, professionally, socially, ...) and were happy to share some great funny anecdotes. they were both programmers but neither had completed a college degree. chris plays WOW ... so of course we discussed that for a bit. but all in all they were really nice people ... who would have probably preferred more the company of people their own age. many drinks and bands later, kmfdm took the stage. omg.

sascha and lucia are the backbone of modern kmfdm. yes sascha is the true spine but lucia is quickly becoming a fulcrum for much of their sound. jules, andy, and bill accompanied and of course are all total rock stars. omg x100. raymond watts is gone from the lineup and so is tim skold(sniff).

the set was a great mix of old and new. eras included Nihil, XTORT, Symbols, Adios, Attak, WWIII, and lots of Hau Ruck. standouts were "Hau Ruck" & "Professional Killer", "Last Things", "Drug against war" and "Power" & "Inane" & "Son of a Gun". OMG THE ENCORE WAS PERFECT. WWIII & Megalomaniac ... and then D.I.Y. (.... destroy what destroys you .... ) (the request i had shouted the entire night). the sound sucked for the first half. sascha and lucia had mikes that were not being played nearly loud enough and were drowned out by the bass and guitar distortion way too much. but they fixed em for the encore which sounded SOOOOOOOOoooo good. these guys form a soundscape that sucks you in and you know that all is good and right within the folds of the ultra heavy beat. "RIP THE SYSTEM ... BLOW IT AWAY".

in the pit it was fantastic. the ultra heavy beat stopped my heart a few times but brought it back online pretty quickly ;). nick, ian, chris, and i pushed our way to the front in the beginning and i stayed up there the whole time. nick and i "met" some 20yo-ish girls as we were being jostled around by the moshers behind us. basically nick ended up being smushed into the brunette and i into the blonde ... we apologized to them. of course there were drunken large sweaty bald guys that belong more in the pit of a metallica show than KMFDM. their elbows spinning and sweat flying, i tried to protect the blond girl from them a few times. she helped me with a nudge and it seemed to work. chris showed up soon after and i tried to protect her too ... to no avail!! apparently i'd been stabbing her with my elbow accidentally for most of the show, ohnoes.

i stayed at the stage after most people left, in hopes of an autograph from sascha or lucia. someone mumbled "oh u just missed him ... hes walkin ..." and i took off. found the KAPN quickly thereafter, walkin behind us. got some currency signed by SASCHA and he kept the pen (you can have it!!!!). damn i wanted to get my UC Berkeley shirt signed ... but it was very sweaty after being worn under my Dickies cover shirt. doh. "plz sign this sweaty rag ... ;)??" hehe.

saw ian and chris after and i learned about my elbow poking chris in the chest repeatedly ... ::blusH::. oh yeah and ian says see u at Ministry in May. OK see u then! waved goodbye to the other girls and we left

ok so i had a great time. we met lots of people and i got to watch everyone drink. this was the first time id done anything like this in a long while and it felt so great to just hang out with nice people and see a fantastic show. only regrets? that we had more friends with us, that the UC Berkeley shirt hadnt been sweaty, that they would have played Jihad, that i wasn't DD, that i didnt have stress for friday's GRE, and that we drove a 4 seater so we could have invited our new friends to hang out. ian and chris were really nice and i would have liked to get to know the girls at least a little.

remind me to do this more often.

Back to California

Dear Andrew,

Congratulations! It is my pleasure to invite you to the Sixth Annual Berkeley Edge Conference. The conference will be held at the University of California, Berkeley, October 27-30.

events

wow things are finally happening. id like to attend:

SEP 17
Mini-Marathon of TV show "Firefly"
Kirkland Events Center
$6.50/person
https://www.kpcenter.org/cgi-bin/event.cgi?id=93

SEP 21
KMFDM Concert*
The Premiere Concert Hall
$30/person

SEP 23
NIN Concert
Key Arena
(soldout)

OCT 5
Danzig/Himsa Concert
The Premiere Concert Hall
$22.50/person

???
Apple Cup*
UW Husky Stadium
$35/person

* = attending for sure
---

contact me if ud like to join me to any of these!! blog-comment, blog-tagboard, email, im, call ... etc. Always excited to split the cost and would enjoy the company.

dj stutter

I made a remix of NIN's "Only". Plz download and give me feedback! This is my first remix and was made using Acid XPress (a trial version of Acid). NIN provided component WAV files.

addiction

This has been a long time coming.

as the industry's rapid growth gives rise to a new generation of addicts, like the South Korean man who died of heart failure after playing a game called "StarCraft" for 50 hours at an Internet cafe.

Click here.

suburbia II

it seems that suburbia can rob u of your motivation and leave u barren of satisfaction or fulfillment. why is this?

since i know everything, im going to tell u (or at least stimulate some pontification). i mean, what ever did the world do before i was born and they had no one to lead them to revelation? this era has been referred to "the dark ages" and it harbored insignias such as "B.C." which of course means Before Chekerylla.

parents often move to suburbia after they have had their wild times, established their careers, and are ready to settle down. Settling down of course means that the interesting bits of their lives are over and that they now will raise little children. If they seek any excitement at all, these parents may often choose to live vicariously through these unsuspecting kids in a wholly unhealthy manner. But what effect does this have on the young child? When a child is raised in an environment bereft of any significant cultural content, diversity in personal backgrounds, or accessible venue of healthy reinforcement and inspiration, how can we be surprised if the kid has a difficult time adjusting? From depression to hyperactivity, it seems that these may just reflect the twisted environment in which they were installed.

but now im 22 and i have no excuses right? right.

when u have a motivation, u may constantly need to reinforce it. some people seem to be inherintly driven and do not need constant reinforcement. But others must nourish it so that it can constantly propel them in the intended direction. I believe that for these people, the reinforcement is derived from parents or friends at a young age. However, these relationships can change over the years and it is ultimately most effective to develop such a reinforcement from within. This may be most difficult since it requires a high quality of introspection and self motivation. And this requires self discipline in the first sense. isnt it a pity that such reverse engineering of ones mind should be necessary simply to maintain a sense of satisfaction?

or maybe the key is that the satisfaction that one feels is more complex that imagined. Suppose that there is a sort of "zen" or simple fulfilment from mundane activities that may be commonplace in surburbia. suppose that u dont need to solely perform certain self-affirming actions to achieve fulfillment but that there is a beauty that must be appreciated in all activity, strenuous or luxurious. although this does not simplify to explaining the slacker mentality, it may suggest that there is a certain benefit in alleviating the stresses of constant work and activity.

todo list

hello loyal readers. i feel like conan o brien when they flushed a bat down the toilet "cuz nobodys watching anyway" and showed graphs indicating their nonexistent viewer base. so im talking to myself basically. **yawn**

so now i am in the #$@! and I gotta work ... hard!! Just rescheduled my GRE ... and it costs me the full $115 to do so. So thats money outta my pocket, and I already have expenses. The plan is, work at Dads, work at Ruths, and work at Michelles.

Still gotta buy KMFDM tix, Danzig tix, Apple Cup tix, and UCB school supplies!! Next I'll mind control the UWEE admin so they hire me as a $10/hr homework grader for AUT05 qtr. That'd do it! Next I'll setup Paypal.

... and all this of course means that I'll have that much less time for fun with friends. Yeay!! ;( Hopefully I can finish that DB character, can setup the PHP and SQL for the PHP2BB forum, can watch the Reno 911 season I rented, and do chores for my grandparents!!!1111111oneoneoneelevenone